Monday, December 31, 2007

Schrute 1: Round 1

We now go from a house full of women to a house full of men!

The Backstory:
David Schrute was named the heir to his family farm, and abandoned his big-city life to move there with his father, William, and his uncle James. Sadly, his father and uncle's pleasure-loving ways did not mesh well with the world of agro-business, and the farm was soon foreclosed by the bank. With nowhere else to go, David moved to Tranquility Bay with his dad and uncle tagging along. Will David be able to rebuild his own life while keeping his dad and uncle in check?

Well, David, I do believe we've already gotten to know you quite well over at the Halperts.

David: Yes, but I don't believe you've met my dad or uncle. Dad's in the beige, Uncle James is in blue.

How are you liking Tranquility Bay so far?

David: Well, I've already found love so I guess I can't complain.

Hey, look. It's the welcome wagon, full of people we haven't met yet! How lovely!

Kimberly: When are you going to get to my house?

Wow, somebody's impatient.

So I hear you two are a couple of pleasure freaks.

James: Life's better if you just try to have fun.

Uh-huh. And I also heard that you two pleasure freaks didn't pay your bills on time.

William: Paying bills wasn't fun. We bought a dune buggy instead.

A dune buggy on a farm? Good thing David's living with you now.

William: Wheee!

Ok, you are much to old to be doing that.

William: You're never too old for this!

Get down, you'll break a hip.

What? Who doesn't like grilled cheese? Stand up to those weirdos, David!


Um...let's just stick with the safe way. Alphabetical it is.

Oh, no. Bad day for chance cards.

At least work went well for someone.

Nice job, David.

David: Thanks. I don't want to get too far deep into this adventurer thing, though. What I really want to do is become a star athlete. But that job's not up.

Well keep trying. It will come up.

Although it may be hard for you to keep trying since your uncle just broke the computer!

James: What? No biggie. We'll just buy another one, that's all.

With what money? The money you're supposed to use for food or the money you're supposed to use for bills?

Hey, look. It's Lisa Levinson from the welcome wagon. Um, why are you hugging?

David: We really hit it off.

Um, may I remind you that you're...

David: Engaged. I know, don't worry. She's just a friend, I promise.

Well, I guess it's innocent enough. Just don't let your fiancee's mother catch you with her.

David: Don't worry, I wont.

Hey, looks like James found a fishing buddy too.

James: Creepy nagging voice, meet Cornelia Roswell.

You know, I prefer the term mysterious.

Well, at least you're doing something productive.

Nice going, William.

William: Can I quit now?

No, see, in order to keep making money you need to keep working the job.

William: Darn.

Hey, Cornelia's back. And it looks like she and James get along pretty well...

Hey, you finally switched to athletic!

David: Yeah, after I almost killed myself trying to fix that stupid computer.

Uh-oh...good thing Lisa's not over.

Betty: We're going to see just where this guy lives. I bet he's got fifty women there already. You'll see...

Jennifer: Sorry about my mom, she insisted on following me or she was locking me in the house.

David: That's ok, I think we can avoid her.

Betty: Look at the size of this place! You'll never be able to raise a family here.

Jennifer: Oh, mom. I could raise kids here just as well as our house.

Betty: With those two old geezers living here?

David: Hey, stop insulting my family in my house!

Atta boy, David! Stick up for yourself!

Ooh...who's that from?

James: My sweetie, Cornelia.

Aww, looks like we've got ourselves a little elder love affair.

Great job, David. You're really raking it in this week.

David: Well with Jennifer and I about to start a family I've got to start saving up.

Look who's back again...

Um...I personally think he should take it, but my judgment has been really bad this week. Let's pass.

Ok, so from now on I do the opposite of what I think I should do.

Wow, you got pretty far in one week!

David: Well, there's no kids around here. My time is all my own.

Yeah, enjoy that while it lasts.

I think James had better enjoy bachelorhood while he can, too.

What? No wedding party?

David: Don't have enough money, time, or energy for that. A simple ceremony is fine.

Well, Tranquility Bay's first wedding is still very beautiful.

Ahh, who needs burgers.

Hey, I actually picked one right!

Well, that brings us to the end of our first week with the Schrute family! See everybody next round!

A Message From the Mysterious Voice: This house took me forever to play. First of all, it was extremely boring. I purposefully put off the wedding until Sunday night so Jennifer wouldn't be ahead of David in age, so for the rest of the week there was nothing to do. That's why I had James hook up with Cornelia. My game also got a little buggy during this lot, but everything seems fine now. And don't think we've seen the last of Lisa in this story, either...she's next on the list.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Halpert 1: Round 1

House number three is inhabited by the Halpert family:

The Backstory:

Like the Scott family, the Halperts came to Tranquility Bay as the result of a divorce. After Jennifer's husband left her, she swore off men for the rest of her life. Unfortunately, she couldn't exactly swear off bills for the rest of her life, so she and her teenage daughter Jessica ended up moving back in with her mother, Betty. Determined to help her daughter get a fresh start, Betty moved the family to Tranquility Bay.

Hi, ladies!

Betty: What the...who do you think you are, coming in here all disembodied and trying to freak us out? We just moved in!

I'm not trying to freak everybody out. I'm the mysterious voice, your narrator.

Betty: We don't need any narrators.

Well, that's too bad. Because you've got one.

Jennifer: Yeah, I think this was a great move for us. I don't need a man in my life. I've got my mom, and I've got my baby. That's all I need.

Jessica: Whatever you say, Mom.

Yeah, whatever you say, Jennifer.

Jennifer: What? I can still make friends, can't I?

(clears throat)

Jennifer: I'll admit he's kind of cute, but I'm still not going to let it go too far. I'm done with men.

Why don't I believe you?

At least somebody remembered to cook dinner.

Jessica: I knew it wouldn't last.

Betty: Hi, there. I'm Betty Halpert, we just moved in. Why don't you hang out for awhile and do a little fishing with me?

Kimberly: Um...sure, I guess.

Let's's been awhile since I've seen this one. Let's get the assistant.

All right! Looks like that was the right answer.

Jessica: Grandma, could you give me a hand with my homework?

Betty: Sure thing, baby...just let me bring that Kimberly woman in from the pond. It's getting cold out there.

Kimberly: What do you need to do homework for, anyway? Just live a life of love, like mine.

Oh, boy. Your house is sure going to be fun.

Betty: Now don't you fill her head with nonsense like that. Come on, Jessie. Let's get to that homework.

Nice going, Jennifer.

Jennifer: See? I told you I can be successful without a man in my life.


Better safe than sorry-let's run the grammar check.

Another right answer! And that money sure will come in handy around here.

Betty: Well hi, there! I'm Betty Halpert. And you must be...

Stellar: Stellar Roswell. My family and I just came from Fellowship 2.

Betty: Well, miss Roswell would you like to hang out and do a little fishing? Don't mind this snow-it was here when we moved in and it hasn't melted since. You'd think with it still being fall it would have been gone by now.

All right! Another promotion for Jennifer, and it looks like Jessica's doing some self-improvement of her own.

Betty: My, what a pretty top that is. My name's Betty Halpert. And you are...

Barbra: Barbra Ryan.

Betty: Well, you want to fish with me for a little bit? They bite like...

I think I'm seeing a pattern in Betty's behavior.

Hey, look, it' orange boy.

Jessica: Shh! His name's William Lancaster. He's new at school, and I don't think you should make fun of his skin.

I'm not making fun. I just haven't seen any orange people around before, that's all. So do you think William might be a good match for you?

Jessica: Are you kidding? He's orange!

Nice job, Jennifer.

Jennifer: What did I tell you? I made it this far with no help from anybody. I am completely independent.

Um, I don't think you can be independent if you live with your mother.

Jessica: All right! My first A+!

Glad to see you didn't take Kimberly's advice.

I guess all those friends your mom's been making are helping you jump up the ladder, huh?

Jennifer: Yeah.

So would you say your mom is helping you, then?

Jennifer: What are you talking about? I told you, I'm an independent woman!

So, why is David back?

Jennifer: He came over for a friendly visit. You know, to celebrate my success.

(clears throat)

Jennifer: I'm just professing my friendship...with a romantic ballad.


Betty: How dare you come and try to lure my daughter into your web of lies?

Web of lies? I don't think he's spoken yet.

Betty: Now you listen here-my daughter does not need a man in her life. She is completely happy just living with me and Jessie. So you'd best get out of here before I...

David, I think you might want to take the woman's advice. This could get ugly.

David: No! I love Jennifer, no matter what her mother says.

You what?

Well, if that's the case I think you'd better get to know her daughter as well.

David: Oh, gee, I'm no good with kids. Um...are you hungry? I can make some eggs...

Man, you really are no good with kids.

Jennifer: I'm sure you'll do really well at college, baby.

Jessica: Thanks, Mom. But don't get married while I'm gone, ok?

Jennifer: Oh, about that...we're going to be moving into his house when we get married. So after you graduate it's going to be just you and grandma living here.

What? You're abandoning your child and mother after just one week?

Jennifer: ...Gotta go...

So much for not needing a man in your life, huh?

Jennifer: Oh, I don't need one. I just want one. It's completely different.

Uh-huh. Sure.

Well, I guess we've got to seal the deal...

Jennifer: David, will you marry me?

David: As long as we don't have to live with your mother, sure!

Whoa! Awesome job, Jessica! How'd you do it?

Jessica: I don't have a job, and I don't have any little siblings to take care of. I have a lot of free time. Plus, it was fall for most of the week.

Ahh, I see. Well, that should help you out at college quite a bit. And I'm afraid that brings us to the end of the week. See you at graduation, Jessica!

A Message From the Mysterious Voice: This house was easy compared to the Beeslys. I discovered the power of a stay-at-home grandma with a fishing pond. She would fish all day long, and stop anyone who walked by and make them fish with her, becoming their friend really fast. Also, I had no idea that Betty would hate David so much. I was watching Jennifer make dinner and all of a sudden I hear David crying because Betty had poked him. It was both funny, and disturbing.