Halpert 1: Round 1

House number three is inhabited by the Halpert family:



The Backstory:

Like the Scott family, the Halperts came to Tranquility Bay as the result of a divorce. After Jennifer's husband left her, she swore off men for the rest of her life. Unfortunately, she couldn't exactly swear off bills for the rest of her life, so she and her teenage daughter Jessica ended up moving back in with her mother, Betty. Determined to help her daughter get a fresh start, Betty moved the family to Tranquility Bay.



Hi, ladies!

Betty: What the...who do you think you are, coming in here all disembodied and trying to freak us out? We just moved in!

I'm not trying to freak everybody out. I'm the mysterious voice, your narrator.

Betty: We don't need any narrators.

Well, that's too bad. Because you've got one.



Jennifer: Yeah, I think this was a great move for us. I don't need a man in my life. I've got my mom, and I've got my baby. That's all I need.

Jessica: Whatever you say, Mom.



Yeah, whatever you say, Jennifer.

Jennifer: What? I can still make friends, can't I?



(clears throat)

Jennifer: I'll admit he's kind of cute, but I'm still not going to let it go too far. I'm done with men.

Why don't I believe you?



At least somebody remembered to cook dinner.

Jessica: I knew it wouldn't last.



Betty: Hi, there. I'm Betty Halpert, we just moved in. Why don't you hang out for awhile and do a little fishing with me?

Kimberly: Um...sure, I guess.



Let's see...it's been awhile since I've seen this one. Let's get the assistant.



All right! Looks like that was the right answer.



Jessica: Grandma, could you give me a hand with my homework?

Betty: Sure thing, baby...just let me bring that Kimberly woman in from the pond. It's getting cold out there.



Kimberly: What do you need to do homework for, anyway? Just live a life of love, like mine.

Oh, boy. Your house is sure going to be fun.

Betty: Now don't you fill her head with nonsense like that. Come on, Jessie. Let's get to that homework.



Nice going, Jennifer.

Jennifer: See? I told you I can be successful without a man in my life.

Uh-huh.



Better safe than sorry-let's run the grammar check.



Another right answer! And that money sure will come in handy around here.



Betty: Well hi, there! I'm Betty Halpert. And you must be...

Stellar: Stellar Roswell. My family and I just came from Fellowship 2.

Betty: Well, miss Roswell would you like to hang out and do a little fishing? Don't mind this snow-it was here when we moved in and it hasn't melted since. You'd think with it still being fall it would have been gone by now.



All right! Another promotion for Jennifer, and it looks like Jessica's doing some self-improvement of her own.



Betty: My, what a pretty top that is. My name's Betty Halpert. And you are...

Barbra: Barbra Ryan.

Betty: Well, you want to fish with me for a little bit? They bite like...

I think I'm seeing a pattern in Betty's behavior.



Hey, look, it's...an orange boy.

Jessica: Shh! His name's William Lancaster. He's new at school, and I don't think you should make fun of his skin.

I'm not making fun. I just haven't seen any orange people around before, that's all. So do you think William might be a good match for you?

Jessica: Are you kidding? He's orange!



Nice job, Jennifer.

Jennifer: What did I tell you? I made it this far with no help from anybody. I am completely independent.

Um, I don't think you can be independent if you live with your mother.



Jessica: All right! My first A+!

Glad to see you didn't take Kimberly's advice.



I guess all those friends your mom's been making are helping you jump up the ladder, huh?

Jennifer: Yeah.

So would you say your mom is helping you, then?

Jennifer: What are you talking about? I told you, I'm an independent woman!



So, why is David back?

Jennifer: He came over for a friendly visit. You know, to celebrate my success.



(clears throat)

Jennifer: I'm just professing my friendship...with a romantic ballad.



Uh-oh...

Betty: How dare you come and try to lure my daughter into your web of lies?

Web of lies? I don't think he's spoken yet.



Betty: Now you listen here-my daughter does not need a man in her life. She is completely happy just living with me and Jessie. So you'd best get out of here before I...

David, I think you might want to take the woman's advice. This could get ugly.

David: No! I love Jennifer, no matter what her mother says.

You what?



Well, if that's the case I think you'd better get to know her daughter as well.

David: Oh, gee, I'm no good with kids. Um...are you hungry? I can make some eggs...

Man, you really are no good with kids.



Jennifer: I'm sure you'll do really well at college, baby.

Jessica: Thanks, Mom. But don't get married while I'm gone, ok?

Jennifer: Oh, about that...we're going to be moving into his house when we get married. So after you graduate it's going to be just you and grandma living here.

What? You're abandoning your child and mother after just one week?

Jennifer: ...Gotta go...



So much for not needing a man in your life, huh?

Jennifer: Oh, I don't need one. I just want one. It's completely different.

Uh-huh. Sure.



Well, I guess we've got to seal the deal...

Jennifer: David, will you marry me?

David: As long as we don't have to live with your mother, sure!



Whoa! Awesome job, Jessica! How'd you do it?

Jessica: I don't have a job, and I don't have any little siblings to take care of. I have a lot of free time. Plus, it was fall for most of the week.

Ahh, I see. Well, that should help you out at college quite a bit. And I'm afraid that brings us to the end of the week. See you at graduation, Jessica!



A Message From the Mysterious Voice: This house was easy compared to the Beeslys. I discovered the power of a stay-at-home grandma with a fishing pond. She would fish all day long, and stop anyone who walked by and make them fish with her, becoming their friend really fast. Also, I had no idea that Betty would hate David so much. I was watching Jennifer make dinner and all of a sudden I hear David crying because Betty had poked him. It was both funny, and disturbing.