Warner 4: Round 9

 

 Last round, Angelica Warner was faced with a bit of a predicament. After an affair with Holland Halpert, she found herself pregnant for the second time. Rather than admitting this to her "roommate" Andre, she used a newly furnished home bar to convince him that the pregnancy was actually his fault. Valley was born shortly afterward, bearing just enough resemblance to her mother for her to get away with the lie. Meanwhile, Island grew all the way from a baby to a child while Mountain grew to a teenager and prepared for college.

 

Oh, and I guess they adopted a dog at some point during the round. I have no idea who adopted Spring or when...

So are you happy that you've got a dog?

Island: Yup! And she's all mine and Valley's-well, once Valley grows up.

Speaking of Valley...

Oh, there she is. Smart kid, trying to hide in this house.

 

 Angelica, can't you wait 5 minutes? Andre is making breakfast.

Angelica: Well, I'm hungry now. And anyway, Island will probably inhale all of what he's making.

Andre: She's just growing.

Angelica: Whatever. At least now that dog will keep them busy.

 

I shouldn't be surprised to see you over here, Kentucky.

Kentucky: Hey, Angelica. Mind if I hang here today? Paris and I are having some...difficulties.

 

 Kentucky: It's not that I don't love Paris...I just can't limit myself like that, you know?

Angelica: I totally understand. Andre's the same way about the two of us. I mean, just because we have a kid...

Kentucky: Don't you mean two kids?

Angelica: Right...two kids.

 

 Angelica: Oh, hey Holland...no, no...today's not a good time for you to come by. Yeah, I'm um...stuck at home with the baby today. Yeah. Tomorrow might be better...maybe. Listen, I have to go. The other one is getting home any minute...

 

Island: I got an A+!

At least someone's life is going well around here...

 

 Congratulations, Andre.

Andre: (sigh) Thanks.

What's wrong?

Andre: I'm only a bit more than a week away from being an elder, and I'm still not married.

Well, true...but you do have three kids. That's something, right?

Andre: Yeah. But I still don't want to grow old without being married, and I'm starting to think that Angelica is never going to come around.

Gee, whatever gave you that idea?

 

Wow, you helping with another birthday?

Angelica: I want this kid out of diapers as fast as possible.

I see. Happy birthday, dear Valley...

 

 Gee, she looks familiar...

Valley: What are you talking about?

When you go to school tomorrow, keep an eye out for your cousin Elmyra. You'll see what I mean.

 

 Wow, I never realized how much Holiday you have in you.

Island: Yeah, I look a lot like Daddy. Valley doesn't look like Daddy at all.

Strange, isn't it...

 

It's been a good week for you, Andre.

Andre: Professionally, yes.

Don't worry. Once you get to the top of the ladder you'll be happy-I'm sure.

Andre: I hope so.

 

 Even though it's totally out of character for her, let's stay honest. Plus, this house doesn't have $50,000 to pay...

   

 Nor do they have $35,000 to lose on a chance card. Great...

 

Island: Hey, if we don't have any money, how will Mommy and Daddy pay the babysitter?

 

 The answer is they won't...and the Nanny will get mad...

 

 As will the second Nanny who showed up for all of 20 minutes, complained about not being paid, took stuff, and left.

 

Nice going, Angelica.

Angelica: Hey, it's not my fault. If Andre had stayed at the top of the culinary career instead of chasing his stupid education minister dream, we would have had enough money to spare.

 

 Valley: Daddy, are people going to come and take our stuff away?

Andre: No, Valley. Thankfully your mother paid the bills before she went to work yesterday. But we are going to have to start alternating days at home. The babysitter didn't seem keen on coming back for a little while.

 

 Oh, great...another chance card. Let's go with the Effects of Vegetables...

 

Hey, every little bit helps!

 

 Oh, good. The dog's still here.

Valley: Yup!

And look who dropped by. It's grandpa Eric...

Island: Guess what? I got an A+! 

Eric: Great job...any idea where your mother is?

 

Eric: Are you insane? How long are you planning on lying to that poor man?

Angelica: What are you talking about? She's his kid.

Eric: I live with her identical half-sister, Angelica. Who happens to be your little sister's child, and whose father is the same man you've had several affairs with. She's not Andre's kid.

Angelica: Well, of course she looks like Elmyra. They're cousins. That's all. 

At least Angelica lies consistently. You have to give her that.

 

Island: Why are you home from work, Mommy?

Angelica: Because your father made us too poor to pay the nanny, and now if I go to work people will come and take you away.

Valley: But Daddy's job gave him a lot of money yesterday.

Angelica: Yeah, well, the nanny still won't come.

 

Valley: I got an A+!

Great job!

 

 Angelica: I know, I just called out yesterday. The nanny still won't come-what do you want me to do? I don't really care if they get taken, but Andre would probably become a basket case...more so than usual.

   

 Wow, you're flying up the ladder.

Andre: Yeah. I think this was really my true calling. I don't know what I was doing in the culinary career for so long.

   

 And it looks like we've got another birthday. Happy birthday, dear Island...

 

Not bad...any thoughts on an aspiration?

Island: I want a big family!

Following in her dad's footsteps, I see.

Valley: Why do you have to move out?

Island: Because after I go to college I'll be grown up.

Valley: But then I'm going to be here all by myself.

Island: No you won't. You'll have Daddy and Spring.

I like that you girls have accepted that you can't rely on your mother for companionship.

And Island is really taking after her father...right down to the same lifetime want. That ought to thrill Angelica...

Um, April? Explain, please.

April: Well, after Corey saw Kentucky swooning over Brooke Warner across the street, he told me to follow him over here. But I think I've seen just about enough.

Looks like Island is making a friend, too...Granite must be the teenage social butterfly now.

Granite: What's wrong? Did you see a ghost or something?

 

 No, Granite. She saw this. And it didn't make her too happy with either her mother or Kentucky.

 

Valley: Daddy, you'll never guess who I met today.

Andre: Who?

Valley: My cousin Elmyra! She looks so much like me that even the teachers can't tell us apart. How come I don't look that much like Island? We're sisters-Elmyra and I are only cousins.

Andre: Gee, I don't know. Your moms look a lot alike, but your dads certainly don't. Holland and I must both have really recessive genes, I guess.

 

 Island: Now you decide to come back? I'm a teenager now-we don't need you here.

Nanny: Well, I'm still owed a few days pay.

No you're not! You took stuff to cover the day they couldn't pay you, and then you didn't show up for 3 days.

 

Yes! Congratulations, Andre!

Andre: Thanks. And you were right, I do feel a little bit better now.

Great. Now, let's go check out how Island did on her scholarships...

 

 Not bad. I guess being an ignored middle child has its advantages. Island, I'll see you at graduation. Everybody else, I'll see you next round.

 

A Message From the Mysterious Voice: I love this house. Angelica's relationship with Kentucky isn't over-not by a long shot. And this is the first time in my game that I've seen a service NPC take stuff from a house as payment. I didn't know that they wouldn't return for several days afterward-not being able to send both adults to work didn't help the financial situation any.